I am sorry

I have done many things wrong in my life. I have been forgiven by Our Lord Jesus Christ, He speaks to me and has shown me everything I have done which is wrong. Many of the things I did repeatedly for many years.

My friends in school, you are my friends, it saddens me that you do not listen to what happened anymore.

I am sorry for the boy who initially took the blame for many of us in setting light to my deodorant can on a camping trip in Scouts. It took courage to do what you did, I cannot remember your name. You were a child and wanted to take the blame for something you had not done. I am sorry for the younger boy there who did not do anything but listen to us, the older boys who were there. I am sorry to the Scout leaders who dealt with all of us that day. Thank you for those very happy years in the Scouting movement.

I am sorry for malicious actions I took to one boy in primary school. I was told by my parents you were expelled for me saying what was true, but what was meaningless. I am sorry for anyone, including you, who I got into trouble in this way.

I know you had a difficult time when you left primary school, Steven, and I hope you are happy today. You were a very young child then and you were punished severely for something that a child would not comprehend. It was wrong of the adults who did this to you. It was wrong of me, a fellow class mate, for my part in what happened. I am sorry. May the Peace of Jesus Christ be with you always.

To all of my teachers in primary school, secondary school and university too. I thank you for everything you did for me. There was punishment from some of you which was unjust, especially for forgetting a ruler in art class and then to be subjected to multiple punishments through no fault of my own. This is forgiven by Our Lord, that man is with Him, He has told me so.

I am sorry for all those people who made an effort to raise me for not doing what I should have done in those days and in my 20s. I am sorry if it seemed at any point like I was wasting your time. I have learnt much from you, and nothing was wasted. Thank you.

Those I bullied in school, I am your friend. I am sorry for those acts I did against you, against Our God. I am sorry. I was not often violent, but the things I did brought you suffering. I want you to know I am sorry. I am very sorry for what I did to you. Please forgive me.

Please find peace knowing that I have suffered too in memory of what I did.

I committed no crime. But I sinned.

I am sorry to my good friend who knew I was bullying him. There were many who bullied you, but I did a lot to you too. I locked you in a cupboard one day after you stepped into it. I am sorry. I had learnt from others in school and it was wrong of me to do what I did to you. I am sorry. I know you are a nice man, I see your profile on my page. I want to be your friend. Our Lord knows what you had gone through as a child, He loves you. I love you.

I witnessed a teacher abuse a boy one year early in secondary school. He was thrown from one end of the corridor to the other, his head would have hit the wall after sliding across the floor. He was abused. I am sorry to him for not having the courage in those days to speak of what I knew happened. The man who did this to you does not do these things anymore, he has left us.

There were younger boys in school who I witnessed being abused by people who I knew. I reported this offence to the school, I told them what I thought was true. I asked you later if you were ok, I was not intending to harm you, I cared for His People. Our Lord saw all of this, He knows what is true. He forgives that man who did those things to you as a child. Please forgive me of what you thought I did. I am sorry to your father too, he did not comprehend that I was trying to help you.

I was physically violent to one boy in school, I threw water over you and was punished for it by the teachers and another boy who I would also call our friend who grabbed me in a head lock, I was suffocating as a result. I am sorry for the abuse you received from me that day when you said things about my mother and my then girlfriend. I am sorry that we are no longer friends. I know you were bullied a lot in school too, and I honestly did not mean what sounded like an insulting joke the last time I saw you on the door step of our friends house 15 years ago, it was an accident and I meant nothing by it. We laughed it off with your friend by your side but it was not nice to hear this kind of abusive language. I was not sober but I have been given want by Our Lord Jesus Christ to apologise to you. Please forgive me. I am sorry.

For my good friend throughout my school years, I am sorry I was led astray by your actions then as a child. We were very close and I am sorry that I told people about what you did. There was a time when you told me to go away because you did not want to be slandered by bullies who were children too. I went away eventually because what you were doing was wrong. You did this after we left school as well, it was clear to me who the bully was of the boy of Iranian descent. It has hurt me grievously that you have slandered me to him and all my school friends.

I am sorry to that boy too, I wanted to be your friend, you were my friend the day you joined school. I was your friend even when it seemed I wasn’t. Nothing was meant by me in what I said. It was wrong of me to say what I said, to do what I did to you. I joined in the bullying of you, and I am truly sorry. You were bullied by many people in school from what I saw, and I did not like it, I wanted to be your friend. I joined in when I did not want to. I am ashamed for everything you received from me and our group of friends, your friends today too. I wished always to be your friend. I was a foolish teenage boy. You arrived late in school and made many friends who are still with you today. I was and am very sad I was not one of them when I saw you during our university years. Please forgive me, not everything you have been told is true.

To my good friends who I used to play cards with during school and after this during the early years of university, I love you dearly. There are things you know about me which are not true. Know I have not committed any crimes. I have treated every woman I have been seriously with, there are only two, as my then partner, women I thought I would marry. This was not to be the case, they were not for me, I was not for them.

I need you to be my friends. I miss you. I dearly grieve your loss in my life.

I did many foolish things in school and meant no harm to anyone. I am sorry for the silly foolish acts I did. I was a child.

I have changed. Our Lord has shown me His Way.

To the teenage girl who I met at the inter-school Christmas party, I am sorry for what I did to you. You were very nice to spend that afternoon with but it was not to be. I am sorry for abandoning you on the tram home. I did not want to do that at the time. I was young, foolish and without manners. I am sorry for what I left you to do, to walk home to your door alone. I phoned you afterwards that day to check you were ok, I knew I had done wrong by you, I am sorry for doing that to you and to your parents.

There were two boys, one from the school and one of his friends outside the school, who witnessed me and this young woman talking and dancing in that bar that night. They assaulted me. It was assault they did to me. It is a crime. They were no longer minors. They both need to pray to Our Lord Jesus Christ for forgiveness. They deliberately assaulted me in front of all of the school who were there that night, even my friends from primary school. It was known by all of my good friends I was shaken. I was not afraid of you, that young adult and his friend. You did this in spite, you were jealous. It was a sin. I forgive you of who you were as a child. I hope you are with Him today. Go to Him and be His disciples too.

To my partners in my life, all of them, this was not meant to be. I am sorry for the times I angered you, I am sorry for any anger in me. I did many foolish things in those days, none of which were meant to harm anyone.

You both have husbands, you are both happy and I am glad you found Life in Our Lord Jesus Christ.

To that friend in school who abused me and slandered me to many people during and after my relationship with one woman, I detest what you did. It was despicable to make those allegations based on nothing but lies without any means of defending myself. You went behind my back and lied about me to many people. You slandered me, your good friend from school. Everyone who knows of me and you knows what you have been doing. You need to confess what is plainly sin to the Lord Jesus Christ, if you are afraid of doing this in front of a Priest given some of the things I witnessed you doing then pray to Him instead, Our Lord is with us, He will answer your prayers. He listens to every word which is spoken, I know this because He has shown me what I myself have said to everyone in my sins of even my early childhood.

I forgive you of what you did. You need to change your way. Follow Our Lord God.

To any other women I have spent time with, I am sorry I may have wasted your time. I am sorry to some for chasing you and wanting too much to be with you. I am sorry I did not listen to you and leave you in peace. I am sorry for all women I have done sin with. It was sinful for me to do this with you. I am sorry for leading you astray.

You were not for me, I was as you knew at the time, not for you. I am sorry.

For those I met during university, for all those who witnessed my demise in my 20s. I am sorry for offending you.

I am sorry for those people I invited on a Pilgrimage to be with Our Lord in Cologne, for not planning the journey correctly and asking everyone to bring warm sleeping bags. I am sorry. I should have planned better. I did not do anymore than waste my time as Father Robert’s unpaid assistant, working for money in a job and relaxing out of hours. We were cold that night in bin bags Father Robert raced to find very kindly, he was a good man. We waited for Mass with His Holiness Pope Benedict, it is Our Lord who was with us.

I offended a number of people on this Pilgrimage, I did not share the gifts I had been given on this Pilgrimage, food and wine, with a number of you. I am sorry. This was a sin.

For all the people who have known me with women in my life, this is in the past. I am waiting for my wife. She is for me. I am for her.

For my good friend Stephen, I am sorry I spent that two years not sober. I want to be your friend. I have changed.

I am sorry to you I disturbed your course. I was in a bad way after my first relationship ended. I needed you as my friend, and you were there for me. Thank you.

To Father Robert, my dear Parish Priest, my dear friend, I want you to know I am with Our Lord. He speaks to me. He has been speaking to me for 2 years continuously. What I write in my diary is true. I want to be your friend. I love you.

Our Lord Jesus Christ, please be with all these people, please shelter them from harm and bring them to You.

I am sorry for what I did to all of you, my friends, my family in Jesus Christ.

These are the words I was asked to write by Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I want to write them, I love Our Lord Jesus Christ. He is Your God. He loves you, all of you, even when you sin you are loved. It pains Him, I caused Him pain all through my life.

These are His words:

“I am with you always.”

May the Peace of Jesus Christ be with you, all of you, always.

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